How do you like these? Look tasty? Fuck no. They don't. But one of these is what I found in my super tasty salad. It WAS tasty and would've continued to be tasty had the waiter not asked ME what it was when I brought this little feller to his attention."Is is hard?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"It looks like a snail. Do you have any snails in the kitchen?"
"Snails? No. OTHER species ... but ... "
I put down my fork and stared at the table. Up until that point, folks, everything was fine. The meal was tasty, the salad was crisp. I was still chewing and near the finish point when my fork and eyes hit upon this little brown shell in the lettuce. Having spent considerable time in the Northeast with bountiful gardens and plenty of resident snails, I was unfazed. Had he said, "Yeah, but I don't know how it got in your salad," I STILL would've finished my food. Things like that don't bother me. However, I *was* bothered by the admission that there were other SPECIES in the kitchen. Species?? Species of fucking WHAT?! Never mind.
I could've cracked a fucking tooth and all they did was comp my meal. They should've comped the whole table! Who knows what the hell else we ingested! Ugh.
Do not eat here.
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