Hello everyone (whoever that is since I'm not too sure if anyone will actually read this blog at least within the first 3 months of writing). I've started this blog to chronicle one of my New Year's resolutions that I hope won't be broken before the month ends. The goal is to be more social and raise my awareness of my surroundings. The problem is that I fucking hate people unless I'm drinking, but I need to slow down on my drinking. As you can probably tell, I'm slowly inching into the land of the curmudgeon, but before I do, I think it important to be conscious about my immediate environment. Sadly, I don't even know my neighbors and I've been living there for about 6 months! So, I've resolved to just TRY not to be that infamous "Happy Bunny" character I see when I look in the mirror. Here's the first step.
I live in a fairly interesting part of Chicago, the so-called "Near West Side," which is a palatable way of saying Wesside! but with some condos. (It's at least 60% African American ... and they're not the ones with condo ownership papers.) Anyway, I'm also near the Ukrainian Village, the United Center and Greek Town, essentially. Pretty cool stuff happening 'round those parts, I reckon ... But I don't really know. If someone came to visit and said, "Hey! What's there to do around here?" I'd probably say, "Shit if I know! Google something!" which would take us out of the neighborhood. So that's the wrong response. But, with the help of this mighty blog, I'm hoping the pressure to report my findings to you will inspire me to get out of the damn house and interact with civilization ... a little switch from the chastising I do from inside my vehicle now.
It's not that I'm a hermit or ugly or incredibly bitter in a "my heart is broken so I'm jaded and stay in the house with cookie dough" kinda way. I stay in because I love the comfort of my home (I'm a Taurus). It's warm, I'm a great cook who can also MacGuyver a potent drink, and it's safe in there! In my early 20s, I all but killed myself going out to the hot spots and knowing all of those key people ... but egad! I'm sooo over that now. No more stilettos, no more caffeine highs to get me through the work day, no more makeup to cover up my hangovers and lack of sleep ... no more being the first to hear that hot track, know that new dance, taste the latest drink ... It's definitely possible that I over did it last decade. Or is my calm called maturity? Idk. Perhaps it's more so that I became disillusioned with all the "glamor." I started to really see the people who hung out at these scenes, started to question the reason they chilled there ... started to realize that these people weren't interesting or going anywhere. For the most part, they were miserable and hiding.
So I took a few years off to play domestic kitty, but this wild cat can't be caged for long. Older, wiser, I know that 98% of what is considered "the scene" is complete and utter bullshit. And now that I know this, I can assess things of quality and substance. And who knows, maybe times have changed since I was "on the scene." Maybe people have stopped being aggressive, arrogant assholes. Maybe I'll catch a real DJ and enjoy music/dancing again. Maybe a band won't suck with insincerity and poser followers. Maybe a restaurant with the long wait will be worth it this time, not just compromising quality for a quick turn around? Maybe? Maybe?? Well, if by chance there IS that 2% of delight out there, I want at it!
So, I will go out. I will say YES to invitations. I will try to find that 2% of delight in this fucked world. As a friend aptly put it, I will "look for that last little bit of soaked up Oreo at the bottom of my 2% milk glass because that is where you find God." I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist. I just need a crumb. Thanks James. Let me know when you wanna hang out.
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